On February 2nd, the town council of Punxsutawney, PA, gathered for their traditional bring the rodent out festival. Lore has it that if the rat, named Phil (the amount of alcohol consumed to come up with "Phil" is undetermined. Suffice to say it was copious) doesn't see his shadow it will be an early spring. If the rat bastard sees his shadow there will be six more weeks of winter. The dude came out of his hole on Gobbler's Knob wearing sunglasses.
Not to be outdone, the Marxist, socialist, copycat, Sandinista loving mayor of New York City decided to have a ceremony of his own in Central Park across from the original Gobbler's Knob, Trump Towers in Central Park West. The New York groundhog was trotted out and Mayor De blasio immediately dropped him on his head. Would that could be the other way around.
The NYC impostor "Phil" not only saw his shadow, the stars in his rat fink head were complete with dancing shadows. New York City deserves everything it gets. The Mayor will bankrupt the city and the city is having the worst winter since the Whyos Gang ruled the lower east side. (The real reason they are having bad weather is the myopic twits at the Metropolitan Museum of Art don't have a Norsten in their collection)
I am living in the reflected light of rat shine. The winter that never ends. It's like Bill Murray is living in my decoy trailer. I am in Fairbury now moving ice eaters in our ponds to have some open water for the white horde. When this snow goose migration happens it is going to be epic. We will start hunters March 8th.
If anyone should see that damn groundhog run over him. I never want him to see daylight again,